Dump your girlfriend or boyfriend the Web 2.0 way

14 Responses to “Dump your girlfriend or boyfriend the Web 2.0 way”

1. Critical Critic on December 17th, 2007 6:16 pm

   I’d be amazed if anyone actually used this site. Breaking up is so much more enjoyable in person!

2. BreakUpEmail Does the “Dear John” Writing for You on December 17th, 2007 7:54 pm

   [...] [via noheat] Link to This Post: [...]

3. HiFi Guy on December 18th, 2007 9:50 pm

   Same here, i don’t know if a site like this one can be healthy :p

4. » Break up with your girlfirend or boyfriend Techno Style on December 19th, 2007 8:49 am

   [...] up in person is more enjoyable and fun. Surely a good option if your girlfriend is a wrestler! [via] Get Latest tothepc Updates via Email [...]

5. Shayari on December 19th, 2007 9:20 am

   Wow that was a wonderful tool
   I am simply amazed that such a tool existed and i never knew about it..

   If other bloggers were allowed to put this tool on their website then it would be great..

6. MiCCAS on December 20th, 2007 11:35 am

   Dear Person,

   I’m writing you this email because I think our relationship has run its course. Do you realize that you’re a total loser? You’ve changed too much since we met, and I don’t like it. I can’t believe how selfish you are. Relationships are supposed to be about sharing, jerk. Your arrogance seems to have no limits; it’s as if you think you’re actually somebody. I know you’ll probably tell everyone that you dumped me, because you’re a liar. But everyone knows that already, so they won’t believe you. You couldn’t even pass your exams without cheating; I should have known you’d cheat on me too, asshole. I called the nursery school program, and they agreed to let you in after they assessed your maturity level. It might be hard for you to believe, but one thing I can tell you for sure: you really need to work on your skills in bed. I mean, you’re just plain bad at sex. You know, a little respect can go a long way. But the amount of respect you give me is only enough for ME to go a long way. A long way away from you, douchebag. And another thing: take a freakin shower! You smell so bad that the garbage collectors wonder what the smell is when they come down the street. Maybe part of the problem is that you drink so much. You can’t actually call gin-flakes or beerios breakfast. I’m fed up with kissing an ashtray and seeing you waste your money on cancer sticks every day. It’s disgusting. Doing drugs so much really got in the way of more important things. You need to clean yourself up. Why do you have to be so messy? How hard is it to put your dirty underwear in the laundry machine and wash a few dishes now and again? Frankly, you just don’t care enough about me. Luckily I care enough about me to make up for it, by saying goodbye to you. I can’t believe you forgot my birthday! Who does that? The fact that you forgot our anniversary just confirms that it’s time for “we” to become “me.” Here’s some food for thought: you’re an asshole! It’s not easy to carry on a successful relationship with someone like you. And by that, I mean someone who is downright stupid, you feebleminded dimwit. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to point out that you’re pure evil, a characteristic that most people do NOT appreciate. You might want to work on that. I also really need more space, I don’t like feeling like an elephant in a telephone booth. I hope you understand. I don’t know how to break it to you, but I found someone else to replace you. You know what they say: out with the old, in with the new! The wise Righteous Brothers wrote a song called “You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling.” You might want to listen to it a few times, because I’ve lost that loving feeling. I don’t really do the whole long distance relationship thing. New area code, new market, and it’s time for me to go shopping.

   Some people get very little money out of their job. Some people get dumped. Joy of joys, you get both. Why do you spend so little money on me? Buying me a happy meal at McDonald’s does not count as taking me out to dinner. If you ever get engaged, just remember that an onion ring is not a valid replacement for a wedding ring. You’re like cling wrap around me, but what you need to realize is that I am not a vegetable and your clinginess is unbearable. Sometimes you need to take things a bit slower, and just have fun. Unfortunately, this relationship is becoming too serious for my tastes. And as if that wasn’t enough, you have to criticize me all the time! Now it’s my turn to be the critic. I give you one thumb up: stick it up your ass! All that nagging of yours worked, assuming your intent was to get rid of me. At first I couldn’t understand what smelled so bad when I spent time with you, but now it’s clear: you’re spoiled like a piece of meat left out in the sun. You don’t live in a soap opera, so quit causing so much drama. I’m not a puppet, you can’t just control me by pulling on a string, so why do you try to control everything I do? I need my freedom, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Another problem is that you’re irresponsible, and I just don’t want to put up with the consequences of your decisions anymore. What really breaks the deal is your horrible grammar. Srsly d00d, learn 2 rite a sentance!

   Sorry, but you’re not even worth keeping as a friend. Give me back my keys, I don’t want you coming around here anymore. You may not have realized, but I saw you with him, you fat-fried hamburger-humper! You may not have realized, but I saw you with her, you greasy-heeled anus-sniffer! It may be a typical line, but it’s true: we just aren’t meant for each other. Why are you so boring? I’ve seen rocks that are more interesting than you. I never want to see you again, jerkface! Stay away from me or I’ll beat you with a frozen salmon. I think you get the idea: this relationship is over.

   I won’t miss your ugly face,
   Michael

   LOL @ You may not have realized, but I saw you with him, you fat-fried hamburger-humper! You may not have realized, but I saw you with her, you greasy-heeled anus-sniffer!

7. multippt on December 21st, 2007 2:59 pm

   Hmm, the ultimate tool for generating a breakup letter/email/essay which you otherwise wouldn’t want to waste time writing on. :p
   I think each checkbox corresponds to a fixed sentence, which surprisingly actually forms a perfect letter/email even if you were to select them at random.

   @Miccas: wow, that’s the complete letter!

8. Stellar on December 27th, 2007 3:38 pm

   Hahaha, this is amazing.

9. Break on December 29th, 2007 9:30 pm

   Thanks for posting about our site, we greatly appreciate any publicity we get, both positive and negative. We know that most people will not use the site to break up with someone, but we hope it helps a few people out, and that it provides some good laughs for everyone else.

   We’ll be coming out with a few similar sites in the near future, building a small network of “email” sites, and we’ll let you know when they come out so you can decide what you think of them.

   Thanks again,
   -BreakUpEmail.com

10. multippt on January 1st, 2008 10:13 am

    Wow, “similar” sites?
    Hmm, I guess content generators spun off more sites than it expected.

11. Grant Glendinning on January 1st, 2008 4:46 pm

    Hey Break. Just to let you know this does work, I got a mate who was sick of his girlfriend to use the generator. Turns out he had a lonely Christmas this year. hahaha. Digged and Stumbled BreakUpEmail.com to the max!

12. Perfect Wealth Formula on February 13th, 2008 12:18 pm

    This is unreal. I can\’t believe that anyone would want to use this if they were really serious about this person before. I guess it might be a good site for teens to break up or something, but I would never use it.

13. harmu on May 4th, 2008 10:26 am

    lol, i like the options! he/she is a total loser!! hehe

14. mirc on October 28th, 2008 6:42 am

    This is unreal

    euheh
    thanx

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